Happy birthday, Ma.

Surprised? Why am I wishing you on my birthday? Don’t be. ?

I will tell you why I am wishing you on my birthday but let me first express the countless number of times I have wanted to thank you but couldn’t because my understanding was stuck to the particular age I was in.

Thank you for stitching for hours that tricolour hairband and wristbands, for which I had received rave reviews, in Class 3 for my performance in school for Independence Day.

Thank you for not being around to help me drape a saree or be ready for some other performance that I had to deliver in school and leaving my dressing-up to the mercy of my friends, who would always botch up my eyes while putting eyeliner. Thank you for not attending my PTMs and sending either Dadi or some other relative to collect my report card. I realize now that your not being there meant you were working in school to not waste a leave and earn that extra buck, with which you fulfilled my wants.

Oh, how I used to hate the numerous tuitions you gave everyday from 5 to 9’o clock in the evening after coming back from school at 3’30pm. It made me wonder how come she has the time for all these students but no time for me? Thank you Ma for giving those tuitions for endless hours while I played kho-kho or kabaddi in a park. I now realize that devoting those four hours to the students meant you could provide me three sqaure meals a day, without having to borrow from anyone.

There’s a saying which goes, “Mothers know it all!” While most Bengali parents push their children to pursue science, you–being a science teacher yourself—knew from Class 7 that your daughter is cut out for humanities. You did allow me to take up science in Class 11 and even invested huge sums on those thick textbooks. However, from your experience of teaching me maths (for which I think I have had my fair share of beating from you in this life), you knew that you were not confident of teaching me the sums taught in Class 11 and 12 and pulled me out of an objective stream and put me in a subjective branch of study—humanities.

Ma, thank you for never pushing me to rank first or second in academics but always telling me to give my best in whatever I do. Thank you Ma for not being a strict parent and letting me study at my own pace, albeit under your watchful eyes, till Class 8. Thank you for understanding that I need a silent atmosphere to study and quitting tuitions in Class 9. Thank you for understanding that Maths is not my cup of tea, that my observation skills are poor, that I am someone who expresses herself in pages and despite my opposition, putting me in humanities. Its because of your decision back then that I am independent and self-sufficient today.

Since childhood, I have been more inclined to extra curricular activities and less into academics and here too, you are to blame. I still remember the agitated faces you would make on the mere mention of any function or competition I would be a part of. Ma, thank you for never saying no to anything. Thank you for waking up at 4 in the morning and waiting with me at the bus stop during the bone-chilling winters for my Republic Day parade practice sessions, even if that meant you compromising on an hour’s sleep before getting ready for school. Thank you for never discouraging me from taking on leadership roles and giving the nudge whenever I wanted to step back. Thank you for having faith in the fact that your daughter will successfully balance both her academics and extra curriculars.

Ma, thank you for saving my childhood by not making me realize the troubles you were taking to raise me. I remember how you put a full stop to my dance classes saying that I didn’t practice anything at home. Knowing that I am a sloth bear, I thought you were right and didn’t really protest when you withdrew me from the dance classes. It was not until two to three years ago that you told me the real reason—that time, the mere fee of Rs 100 for the dance class too was a luxury you had to cut down so that you can provide for my other expenses. I am so proud of you for having done that to make me understand the importance of finances.

From waking up before your scheduled 5 o’ clock alarm, wearing a saree yourself and keeping the drapes ready so that I can simply put on the nine-yards and look beautiful on my farewell day; waiting in the dark and keeping mosquitoes for company while I enjoyed friends’ birthday parties, to washing my menstruation stained undergarments till I was very old, the list of the many things you have done for me is endless.

Coming back to why I am wishing you on my birthday. Ma, you have no idea how indebted I am to you. At a time when you were young and more beautiful (no doubt you are beautiful to this date. That’s why some people think you to be my sister), you chose to raise me over having a life with another man. You donned the roles of both parents and ensured that I get the best of everything. You have been doting as a mother and as protective as a father is of his daughter. Thank you for giving me a fresh lease of life by choosing me over having a life for yourself 🙂 I hope I get to be your daughter in every life and have atleast half the strength and resilience with which you brought me up!

It is on this day that you brought me into this world and embarked on your journey of motherhood. It was on this day that from a woman, you turned into Raajnandini Mukherjee’s mother. Hence, happy birthday Ma!

About the auther

Raajnandini Mukherjee hails from Kolkata. She is a mass-com professional. She has worked with news
organisations, such as The New Indian Express and The Times of India, at various locations across the country. Currently, she is based in Delhi and is working with the Hindustan Times. She is in her mid 20s and fond of adventure.