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RECAP
While the daughter TIYA is being treated in the University Spine Centre in the USA after a life-threatening accident, we found her mother Ahana looking back to her early marriage days.
Part 4
The morning of the next day in New York appeared much brighter, golden and blissful to Ahana. She got up early to freshen up, but did not wake Siddhartha up. Ahana could not remember seeing Siddhartha crying, and crying in gallons like last evening. He needs rest, let him catch up with some sleep that he lost since their arrival in New York.
Sitting on a couch on the balcony, she remembered her childhood days in Delhi. Although a Bengali from East Pakistan, their parents shifted to India just before the independence. They got settled in the East Pakistan refugee colony in the capital Delhi for a few months and later got a plot in Chittaranjan Park. Being the only child of her parents, and the only girl child in the larger Banerjee family, Ahana was most sought after. One of the good-looking girls in the area, she also had a fair share of attention from the mohalla boys and classmates.
Philosophically, Ahana was very close to her father, a government officer, while her very intelligent and artistic mother was a homemaker. A streak of a smile crossed the face of Ahana as she remembered the day when she slapped a boy from mohalla very hard who used to harass girls. Many including her father cautioned her of retaliation, but she did not care much about the same.
A typical Bengali, as she was, Ahana liked both in similar intensity- Tagore’s songs and Urdu Shayari, and both Bengali and English movies. She also learned painting, singing and dancing. In addition, she was reasonably good at her studies. She also had the patience to respectfully learn Puja rituals to worship God(s) at home.
Her marriage to Siddhartha was finalised very quickly. Siddhartha was doing PhD in Chemistry then at the University of Florida in the USA. The boy had come to Delhi on vacation, and his family pressurized him to get married before returning to the USA. The fear of a possible ‘firingi-bouma’ (non-Indian daughter-in-law) in a Bengali family, in case of delay in getting the son married quickly, was very much in the minds of Chatterjees. They decided to solemnize the marriage before his departure.
A day earlier of her marriage, some of Ahana’s relatives informed her mother that girl’s house should have collected more information about the boy and his family. The boy is egoistic and hard-headed and the outlook of the boy’s family may not match that of the girl. But with marriage slated for the next day, it was too late to consider such input, although proved important later.
After a couple of weeks of marriage, Ahana got the first taste of such caution of the boy having different cultures than theirs. The first few weeks after marriage both in Delhi and then in Gainesville the couple was almost floating in dreams, hardly had their feet on the ground and conjugal life was at its best.
No sooner Ahana begins to admire the time-sense, no-nonsense conversations, and perfectionist attitude of Siddhartha, than she was given a tour of their apartment at Gainesville. She was surprised to find the bedroom and attached toilet kept tip-toed like any high-end hotel. The bed, balusters, quilt, a small table with two chairs in one corner of the room, the bed-robes, the bedroom sleepers, the towel in the bathroom, neatly arranged toiletries – all gave a pleasant rich look that appeared to have been done by a well-trained house-keeper.
More surprise waited for Ahana when she entered the kitchen. The kitchen was arranged with impeccable perfection. All the bigger and smaller containers holding groceries and pulses are placed on the rack- well-marked with the name written outside and the date of last acquisition. Even the containers were arranged alphabetically. The cooking vessels were all cleaned and arranged nicely, so also the cutlery.
When Ahana wanted to be introduced to the housemaid who must have kept this house so beautiful and clean, Siddhartha politely told her that it was not a housemaid but a housekeeper, and the same person is standing now in front of her. Ahana was awestruck.
A morning after a few weeks, Ahana phoned her father- ‘Hi Baba, how are you all?’
‘We are fine, it is hot and humid here in Delhi, as usual. Leave us, talk about you and my son-in-law. Baba would urge.
‘We are fine, baba. Siddhartha has gone to the University.’
‘That’s fine. But you sound a little insipid. What’s the matter?
‘It seems I am not needed in this house….the house is kept so beautiful, so neat. I no longer find myself a part of it. Even, how I should cook, how oil should be transferred from the bottle to the cooking vessel, how to cut chillies before putting them on to the frying pan, how to serve dishes on the dining table- all had to be according to the directives of Siddhartha.’ Ahana’s voice had an element of desolation.
Father interrupted her ‘my child, listen, listen to me, it is a blessing. Be thankful to God that you have got a husband who is taking care of you so much. Good husband, good house, cultured partner—what else a lady of our family likes could expect?’
‘Please tell all these to Maa. I need her assessment, too?’ was the cryptic reply from Ahana
After a few days father phoned her – ‘My child, I am at a loss how you women could think so alike…she was also not happy with your situation. How are you now?’
‘You please give the phone to Maa.’ Ahana was angry- ‘I want to talk to her
The two women then spoke…and spoke…and lamented together ….
‘It looks like a military house…..all household works have to be done in time, and with ultimate perfection following the husband-written standard operating procedure’ – Ahana was in anguish.
‘Maa, this house does not require me, I serve no purpose of being here. It is pleasant custody, and instead of torture, I receive an ear full of criticism from Siddhartha for being unable to keep the house as per his taste.
‘Does he love you? Tell me honestly?’
‘Yes, he loves me if the criteria for that is to do sex. But his love is also measured- by time, by duration, by my dress colour (Monday blue outfit, Tuesday green, Thursday red, etcetera).’
‘What, are you in sense?’
‘I think he loves himself too much, that’s why he does not seem to have space for others’- Ahana purred ‘I think he is obsessed with himself and his tastes.’
‘Hmmm, does he see everything Indian inferior?’
‘Maybe yes, maybe no; but I have seen him be proud of his university, his research, his subject, his professor, but then not necessarily of his wife. He is also proud of his apartment, and his taste. All the time he sends that feeling that this is Siddhartha’s house and Ahana is only his wife.’
Maa replied- ‘What is must for a lady is to find her place in the house and family. She should have enough scope to contribute to the family matters and reciprocate through care and appreciation.’
‘His overarching appreciation for himself inadvertently ridicule efforts of mine and all others.’ Ahana concluded.
These sorts of conversations continued for several months before Siddhartha one day approved Ahana’s desire to start her studies at the University.
‘What subject do you want to pursue- Siddhartha asked
‘Psychology’ – Ahana replied
‘Psy-cho-logy?’ Siddhartha dragged with some element of sarcasm ‘Well, fine, if you think so’
Ahana was surprised that Siddhartha would agree in one go. Ahana wanted badly to go out of the house and it was a golden opportunity.
The next day Siddhartha took her to the University and discussed with Prof. Rebecca the possibility of Ahana starting her graduate MS course in Psychology. By the next month, she got herself admitted to the course. Siddhartha supported her in this endeavour.
In their 4th year of marriage, Tiya came into this world. And about two years after Tiya’s birth Ahana got pregnant again. We have earlier mentioned the story that how Siddhartha did not like this quick pregnancy and Ahana had to abort the foetus, and how Ahana went into the world of fear, depression and anxiety when life became meaningless to her. Also came during this time their relocation experience post-Gainesville to Mumbai, then ultimately to Bangalore. We have said this earlier and won’t repeat that here again.
About the Author :
Dr. Ranadhir Mukhopadhyay is a Marine Geoscientist. He had retired from NIO, Goa as a Deputy Director. He now lives at Goa.